The Stoic Dichotomy of Control
When I first began to read the Stoic philosophers, I was struck by a bedrock idea that is preached by pretty much all of them. In a nutshell, the Stoics promoted a key principle known as the dichotomy of control, which basically says that we should stick to worrying about what we can actually wrangle. Our actions, thoughts, and reactions, these are the things we have direct control over, and everything else is what they call an “indifferent” or “external.” Your neighbor’s loud donkey or a sudden rainstorm soaking your toga? Not your problem pal. Focus on steering your own chariot – keep your cool, choose your moves wisely, and don’t sweat the stuff that’s just the universe heckling you from the cheap seats. This is the maximum impact you can have on the goodness of the world, since you can complain about the actions of your drunk uncle (drunkle), and even speak wisdom to him, but you have no power to actually change what he does. As a consequence, what he does should add to your stress and worry not one degree. It’s a solid game plan: less time pulling your hair out, more time doing what is good, saying what is true, and thinking virtuously. It’s not a call to abandon trying to influence the world in good ways, it’s a call to abandon worry, carnal fear, and stress about the world. That influence on the world can only be found in what you do, say, and think, so focus on those inputs, and give the outcome over to God.
But something in the concept really gave me a thump on the head. Wait… I get that I can control my own actions and words. I can even control my reactions some of the time, so I know that’s possible. But controlling my thoughts? In the immortal words of Wedge the Rebel Pilot, “That’s impossible, even for a computer!”
Can you Really Control Your Own Thoughts? Stoics Say Yes!
The human mind is a restless, wild thing; churning out worries, regrets, wild imaginings, and lusts faster than we can keep up. In a world of constant noise, from notifications to news cycles, controlling your thoughts can feel like trying to harness the wind. Yet the ancient Stoics – thinkers like Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus – held this to be absolutely true. You don’t control the world, but you can control how you respond to it. This isn’t about silencing your mind or chasing some zen-like void. It’s about practical dominion of your mind (with Divine help, in my worldview), redirecting your thoughts to serve you instead of rule you.
Since I am absolutely terrible at this, I began to research practice tactics. If they can do it, I can do it, right? But it’s not exactly a light switch I can flip. There must be some hard practice involved by which I can slowly make gains.
5 Steps to Controlling Your Thoughts: My Semi-Stoic, Christian-Inspired Practice Plan
I have mentioned elsewhere that I am only semi-stoic. For the Stoic purists out there, I will be forever a hack. I’m ok with that… what they think is not in my control. I am semi-stoic because I am a Christian first and foremost, and believe unshakably that Christ is King. All the evidence of history and my own lived experience point to this being the ultimate truth in the universe, and it’s the only way I have any hope for the future, or understanding of the world around me. Thus, I’ve prepared my Stoic practice plan with supported concepts from the Holy Scripture. Take it or leave it!
Step 1: Accept What you Can’t Control with Stoicism and Faith
The Stoics saw the world as untamable, and that the events belonging to fate, chance, or machinations of the gods could not be predicted or controlled. Epictetus (my favorite!) said, “You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Marcus Aurelius also had heavy emphasis on fate: “Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” I don’t believe in fate at all, and can give ready answer to this question: “If events are not in my control, who’s control are they in?” So, what the Stoics might ascribe to fate, I will ascribe to providence, divine plan. The apostle Paul writes “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” The result in practical practice techniques is fairly similar, except that I would add prayer to the Stoic’s rigorous application of wisdom.
When your thoughts spiral negatively – anger over someone else’s choice, regret for your own past choices, dread of what may happen tomorrow… take a pause. Think “Is this in my control?” If the answer is no (almost always), give it up now. A Stoic recognizes that the past cannot be changed, though it can be repented. Repent where repentance is needed, then treat the past as what it is practically. Non-existent, dead. It is no more alterable than the pages of a fairy tale. The circumstances at your job are not in your control, nor is the stock market. What others must think of you is not in your control, and you are probably so far off on that score that your worries are pointless. Identify these externals. Label them as such. “This is an indifferent.” Then, start in with gratitude. Offer a prayer of thanksgiving to God. I suggest something simple and repeatable, because this will happen about a million times a day, and two million at night. “Father, I am grateful that this is in your control and not mine.” Make this a mantra. For those who aren’t sure they believe in God, as many of the Stoics did, I suggest doing it anyway.
Step 2: Reframe your Mindset with Stoic and Christian Wisdom
Marcus Aurelius wrote, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” This was not an expression of belief in a moral vacuum. It’s a statement of the truth that you don’t have any idea whether your house burning down might be the best thing that ever happened to you. Reframe a trial as a test, every negative event as an opportunity to practice and flex your Stoic calm. Christianity once again is in surprising alignment, “All things work together for good to those who love God” – Romans 8:28. Don’t dread tomorrow’s events, look forward to the chance to practice doing and saying what is good. Lost your job? Excellent! A chance to practice Stoic calm and indifference to material possessions. A difficult confrontation with a family member ahead? Fantastic! A chance to practice doing and saying what is right, and trusting the results to God’s hands. To you, the win must be your own development in this discipline of virtue, not the positive or negative reaction of the external person or event. That is God’s business. You mind your own.
Step 3: Stay Present with Stoic Focus and Biblical Peace
Seneca warned, “We suffer more often in imagination than reality.” Jesus’ teaching is a surprising parallel, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Sufficient for the day are it’s own troubles.” Are your thoughts spiraling negatively? Anchor them. Stoics use senses, an amazingly effective anchor. Feel the chair. Hear the room. Smell the breakfast cooking. The thing you fear has not happened, why are you acting as if it has? Anchor yourself in the present, the pillow under your head, the daily bread in your hand. The past is dead. The future will be full of controllables and indifferents, but today, it simply doesn’t exist… the bogeyman in your closet. Only today exists. Be where you are, and do good there.
Step 4: Challenge your judgements like a Stoic and Disciple
Epictetus said that events do not disturb us. Our opinions of the events do. The apostle Paul tells us to take every thought captive, implying that your thoughts are to be made subservient to that which is good and true and right. In other words, they are to be made to serve you, not the other way around. That screaming voice in your head proclaiming “this is terrible!”? This is a claim, made by a faulty and emotionally driven mind. It’s not truth, and you don’t have to agree. Get used to the idea that the thoughts that pop into your head are not usually on your side. Disagree with them regularly, and put them in their place. Do not “follow your heart,” one of the worst pieces of pop-culture advice ever crafted. Challenge your heart, reminding it frequently that it has no power over you.
Wow… that’s a doozey! Good luck out there.
Step 5: Reflect Daily with Stoic Journaling and Christian Examen
Marcus journaled nightly, auditing his thoughts. Some Christians practice the tradition of “Examen” a daily reflective prayer designed to take stock of your day; the instances in which you strayed or sinned, the instances in which you did well. Present these things honestly to God, with thankful acknowledgement of His forgiveness and request for improvement tomorrow. Take 5 minutes if you can’t afford 10, at the end or beginning of the day. Some choose to do this in the form of free writing… a daily practice that is unquestionably powerful in making you more articulate and reducing anxiety. Plus, you never know what creativity might flow out of that free writing. Mine turned into a highly successful blog, read by literally fives of people!
Why this Stoic-Christian Blend Works
Stoicism gives you tools: Logic, focus, discipline. Christianity adds hope, grace, a bigger story. Together, they don’t erase thoughts, they redirect them. Modern Science even tries to capture this idea and claim it as its own, with the practice of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT is a hands-on approach to therapy that’s less about lounging on a couch spilling your childhood woes and more about rewiring how you think and act in the here and now, changing and steering your thoughts and reactions in the present. Old Stoic and Christian wisdom… given a sciency new name and a big invoice.
How to Start Controlling Your Thoughts Today
There is no grand overhaul. Just begin.
Pick a trigger: Nighttime worry.
Apply the 4 first steps above to the problem, spending about 60 seconds on each.
Journal your progress (Step 5), either in your daily Exemen or your daily free-write session.
Try it for a week. Watch the change. I’m getting a little better at it all the time, and it is working well, thank God.
Final thoughts on Stoicism, Christianity, and Thought Control
Marcus wrestled against his mind as emperor; Paul wrote from prison. Both found calm amid chaos. “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts,” Marcus said. “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind,” Paul added. Stoic or Christian, or both, you can stand firm. The external storm rages. You don’t have to. But it will take practice, intentionality, and enlisting the help of the divine with due humility and gratitude. Let’s get to it.
Call to Action
This plan just handed you five battle-tested steps to stop your mind from dragging you through hell before breakfast. If you’ve ever lain awake rehearsing tomorrow’s disasters or yesterday’s regrets, then you know a friend who needs this. Copy the link. Share it.
– D.S. Cook
https://apostoic.com/2025/03/15/how-to-control-your-thoughts-a-practical-stoic-and-christian-practice-plan/
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