In a quiet valley nestled between rolling hills, two friends, Elias and Mara, dreamed of building homes to call their own. Both decided to craft sturdy brick houses, envisioning shelters that would stand proud and long. With enthusiasm, they laid their foundations and began stacking their first rows of bricks under the warm sun.
That night, as the moon hung low, something peculiar happened. When Elias and Mara awoke, they found their houses transformed. A layer of old, dirty bricks, cracked and stained with grime, had appeared atop their work, as if mischievous elves had toiled in the dark. The bricks were uneven, dirty, and old, but standing.
Elias, delighted by the sight, clapped his hands. “The house is building itself!” he exclaimed, leaning back with a grin. “Why labor when magic does the work? I’ll have a brick house in no time!” He sat under a tree, sipping tea and watching as, night after night, more bad bricks piled onto his structure. The house grew tall quickly, its walls rising like a shadowy tower.
Mara, however, furrowed her brow at the unwanted bricks. She saw how they clashed with her vision of a strong, beautiful home. “These bricks don’t belong,” she murmured. “They’re not mine.” Each morning, she rose early, her hands steady and determined, and carefully pried the bad bricks from her walls. It was slow, tiring work. Sometimes her fingers ached, and the pile of discarded bricks grew beside her. But every one she removed, she replaced with a vibrant red one, chosen with care and laid with intent.
Weeks passed, and Elias’s house stood complete, a towering heap of bricks. He lounged in its shade, boasting of his effortless success. Mara’s house, though, was only half as tall, its red walls gleaming but unfinished. Elias teased her gently, “Why toil so hard, Mara? My home is done while you’re still sweating!”
Then came a tremor, a soft rumble from the earth. It was no great quake, just a shiver through the valley. But Elias’s house groaned under the strain. The dirty bricks, weakly bound and carelessly stacked, cracked and tumbled. In moments, his grand tower collapsed into a heap of dust and rubble, leaving him stunned amidst the ruins.
Mara’s house, though smaller, stood unshaken. Her red bricks, laid with purpose and strengthened by her resolve, held firm against the tremor. She continued her work, undeterred, adding each new brick with the same quiet determination.
Years later, Mara’s home was complete. A radiant structure that glowed in the sunlight, its walls unyielding against storms and quakes. Travelers marveled at its beauty, and Mara welcomed them with a serene smile, her mind as strong and clear as the house she’d built. Elias, rebuilding from his ruins, learned to choose his bricks with care, inspired by his friend’s patient labor.
Stoic Wisdom: Do Not Be the Victim of Your Own Thoughts
This parable reveals a common truth about the mind. Just as Elias and Mara faced uninvited bricks, so stray thoughts creep into our heads, building a psyche we can’t quite call our own. At the very least, we cannot call it intentional. Yet, we don’t have to be passive towards this, allowing thoughts to nestle that are foreign to our highest pursuits. Like Mara, we can choose which bricks to keep, and which to peel off and discard. In a previous article entitled “How to Control Your Thoughts: A Practical Stoic and Christian Practice Plan” (Link at the bottom of this article), I gave an encouragement to challenge rather than accept your own judgements. Within the Stoic dichotomy of control, your own thoughts and judgments lie within the realm of what you can influence and change. Hard to do? Yes. But not as impossible as you think, with a good plan. I encouraged readers to begin to argue with their judgments, rather than accept them as gospel. Not every thought that pops into your head is the truth of the universe speaking to you. It is an opinion, a claim made by a mind with a mind of its own. These claims may or may not have your best interest at heart, and can be rejected or accepted according to reason.
Enough practice in this direction and unwanted thoughts, like the bad bricks in the parable, will pop up less and less. They will have smaller and smaller power over you. More and more, you will automate the process of peeling them off your walls when they do present their grubby faces. To an unpracticed mind, the moldy, crumbling, negative bricks seem to add themselves, without your invitation. Leave hem there, and you will have a shoddy, crumbling tower. But by consistently noticing and removing these… replacing them with strong red bricks, you can decide what kind of house your mind will be, with some help from the divine.
How do I know this, you might ask? Because I have an unpracticed mind, and am subject to these mysterious bricklayers on a regular basis. Like all men, my mind is always under spiritual attack, and I didn’t learn to make holy war on these invaders naturally. But in my Stoic practice over the last couple of years, together with honest prayer, I have made significant progress and know that it can be done. Like Mara, who built her home brick by brick, you can shape your mind with deliberate practice. Ready to start sorting your own bricks? Here’s a simple Stoic system of reason and prayer for guarding your mind. It’s been helpful to me, and I’ve seen progress in faith, toughness, and resilience by employing it. It would be ingratitude not to share it with you.
4 Practical Stoic Steps to Master Your Thoughts with Reason and Prayer
If you don’t know where to start, try this. Of course there are more ways to skin a cat, and other methods may be viable. But, doing nothing is not. Practicing this, or something similar, will begin to transform you from someone who doesn’t sort bricks at all – letting them fall where they may and get built into your house without thought – to someone with an automated brick sorting machine always running in the background of his building site.
- Notice the brick.
This is the first big hurdle, as many of us build the tower of our mind without even thinking about whether a brick is rotten or red. We utter cliches such as “this is who I am,” and never even notice the bad bricks or attempt any improvement. It’s as if we are applying the dichotomy of control backward… assessing that our own thoughts and behaviors are the things that lie outside of our control. But no! We need to do the hokey pokey and turn ourselves around.
Reason:
To become a brick sorting expert, the first step is to actually observe the thoughts and feelings that pop into your head. Ask “What am I thinking right now?” and then answer your question honestly. Simply noticing thoughts and emotions, holding them in your hands and seeing them for what they are without immediately accepting or rejecting them is no small piece of progress. It will lead to the power to decide their place in your mind. Practice your powers of observation. Notice what you are thinking and feeling, and you’ll already be miles ahead.
Prayer:
The prayer portion of this is step is a simple conversation. A confession, in a sense. Speak to God, simply telling him about this thought. You have it, you are aware of it, it exists. Communicate that to God with as much honesty as you can muster. Once you have done this a few times, you can consolidate this prayer to short-hand. God knows before you even open your mouth, so there is no need to set aside hours of your day for this. Confessing the thought in one word will do just fine. “Anger.” “Lust.” “Selfishness.” “Ingratitude.”
2. Inspect the brick
Reason:
Once you’ve noticed a thought or emotion, examine it with reason. Is this brick sturdy and aligned with your pursuit of wisdom and virtue, or is it flawed and unhelpful? Is this thought true? Is it useful? Treat the thought like an over-ambitious claim in a debate. It must prove its veracity and worth, not simply be accepted. For this exercise, I suggest a small ruse with your own mind. Stop thinking about it as your thought, even though it is. Instead, consider it to be a thought set forth by your opponent in an argument.
Prayer:
The prayer portion is a simple request for wisdom. Ask God to guide your logical interrogation of this thought and lead you to the truth. Once again, I recommend praying in short-hand, so that it can be done in a moment. “Help me think” will do just fine.
3. Remove the dirty brick
Reason:
If it’s a negative, unhelpful brick, misaligned with reason, mark it for removal. Don’t let flawed thoughts stay in your mental walls. Actively reject them, as if you have a big red “false” stamp in the factory of your mind. Apply this stamp liberally, and begin to put your mind in its place. Then, to make this more effective, pair the rejection with a small physical action. It may sound silly, but I’ve been tossing out bad bricks with a physical gesture of my hand, as if discarding something to the side. Why engage in this seemingly silly mummery? Because we are physical and spiritual beings, not merely one or the other. Engaging physically with the spiritual is entrenched in historic religious ritual for a reason. It’s effective. It cements the spiritual in a way that mere thought is likely to loosen, dissipate, and be lost.
Prayer:
The physical gesture can be your prayer if done with the right attitude. What you are doing in this prayer is communicating intent to God. Tell Him that you do not want this bad brick, and implore His aid in the fight against it. In short-hand, simply “Reject” will do.
4. Lay a red brick
Reason:
Every dirty brick you remove should be replaced with a rational, progress-oriented, intentional thought. These are the red bricks of the parable; chosen with care, aligned with reason, courage, and gratitude. For example, after rejecting “I screwed up again,” lay a brick like “I’m a little wiser, a little better than I was yesterday. This was another chance to practice my game. This time, I missed the shot… but I can’t wait to play again.” This new thought focuses on growth and resilience, turning a setback into an opportunity. To make this stick, pair the new thought with a small action just like before. I build good bricks with a fist-on-palm motion, like setting a brick firmly in the wall.
Prayer:
Again, prayer does not have to be words, the physical gesture can be prayed. In this step, we are asking God to supply the mortar that will cement this permanently in our mental walls. We are communicating the resolution and requesting His aid in its permanence. “Build it” will do just fine for a short-hand prayer.
Remember…
This isn’t about denying reality but about choosing thoughts that strengthen rather than weaken us. Over time, this practice exhausts those magical elves who are building crumbling bricks on your walls. Even magical elves get discouraged and tired. They’ll build fewer and fewer. But which bricks should you reject first? Let’s unmask four common negative thoughts that sneak into your mind, like the bad bricks Elias welcomed, and learn how to replace them as Mara did.
4 Common Negative Thoughts to Reject
Like the mischievous elves in the parable, certain thoughts sneak into our minds unbidden, piling up as dirty, cracked bricks that weaken our mental walls. These “bad bricks” are common to most of us – automatic, negative judgments that arise from habit, fear, or distorted perspectives. Left unchecked, they form a shaky, sagging structure that crumbles under life’s tremors. Below are some of the most frequent bad bricks, why they oppose a resilient mind, and why they must be discarded to build a home that stands firm.
- “This is hopeless.” Laid by the whining defeatist elf.
What It Is: This brick begins to wheedle in our ears when challenges loom large and feel overwhelming, painting situations as unconquerable. “Why even try?” it sighs, urging you to quit.
Why It Harms: It robs you of agency, fixating on the distant goal rather than the next small step. Stoic wisdom urges to focus on your response, not the problem. Your response today is to inch a little closer. Focus on the input, not the outcome. If you do three small good things but never achieve the great one, you have not failed. You have succeeded in doing three good things.
How to Replace: Pry it loose and lay a red brick: “I can take one step forward, however small.” This thought, grounded in action, fuels a life of small, meaningful wins; building a mind as sturdy as Mara’s walls. Ask yourself, “What’s one small thing I can do today?” and watch those steps add up. - “I screwed up again.” Laid by the self-shaming elf.
What It Is: This brick pounces on you after a mistake, bashing you over the head with thoughts of failure and self-loathing. “I always mess up” it groans, heavy with guilt.
Why It Harms: It traps you in shame, ignoring the Stoic truth that your mistakes do not define you, only your reactions to them. Left in place, it builds a fragile wall that shatters under scrutiny. Perhaps worse, it is a blatant lie. You do not always mess up. There are many things you do well, but your mind is conditioned to remember the mistakes and forget the successes.
How To Replace: Discard it for a red brick. “Each mistake makes me wiser, stronger.” Like Mara, who builds with care, choose growth over guilt. Climb a little higher on the ladder of your mistakes, rather than lying down under them. - “They’re judging me.” Laid by the approval-seeking elf.
What It Is: This brick imagines other’s harsh critiques, whispering “They think I’m foolish.” It thrives on the false notion that everyone’s watching you.
Why It Harms: It shifts your focus to other’s opinions – something outside of your control – rather than your own values, a Stoic sin. It builds an unsteady wall that wobbles every time someone glances in your direction. And once again, this thought is a lie, a completely false whisper in your ear. The truth is that other people are too busy dealing with their own elves to obsess over you, watching and judging your every move. You are not the main character in their story, and they are not thinking about you anywhere near as much as you believe they are.
How to Replace: Toss it. Say instead, “If I act with integrity, that’s enough.” This thought roots you in the standards that you, not them, are pursuing. Flick this one away with a hand gesture, freeing your mind from imaginary eyes.
4. “What if everything goes wrong?” Laid by the irrationally anxious elf.
What It Is: This brick spins tales of disaster, fretting “What if I fail, or lose it all?” It pulls you from the present into a fearful future that doesn’t exist.
Why It Harms: It wastes energy on hypotheticals you can’t control, flouting Marcus Aurelius’ call to live in the now. It builds a leaning tower that topples when the quake hasn’t even arrived yet, crumbling at the mere whisper that one might arrive in the future.
How to Replace: Ditch this one for a red brick. “I’ll handle this moment, and handle the next one when it comes.” Like Mara’s focused labor, this keeps you grounded. You can pair this one with the physical gesture of making a frame with your pointers and thumbs, cementing the present as your focal point. Combine this with a short-hand prayer as well.
Build a Resilient Mind with Stoic Principles
These bad bricks – hopelessness, self-shame, fear of judgment, and anxious what-ifs – share a common flaw: they masquerade as truth but crumble under reason. They leave your mind vulnerable to life’s quakes, like Elias’ shaky tower. Yet, like Mara, you can notice these flaws, pry them loose, and replace them with bricks of reason, courage, and gratitude. As Marcus Aurelius wrote, “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” (Meditations, Book 8, 47) Each brick chosen well can build a strong mental home, unshaken by storms, grounded in reason, and built to endure.
Start today. Notice one bad brick, inspect it, and replace it. Ask yourself, “What’s one small step I can take right now?” Over time, your mind will become like Mara’s house; a testament to your resilience, admired by all who visit. Build wisely, and let your mental strength grow like Mara’s brick house.
Call to Action
Thank you for reading all the way to the bottom, and for letting this parable remind you that the next “bad brick” in your mind doesn’t have to stay. The best thank-you you can give is passing it to one person whose walls are crumbling under thoughts they never chose.
One share today might hand them the tools to start building something unbreakable. — D.S. Cook
https://apostoic.com/2025/04/27/the-parable-of-the-magic-bricks-stoic-tools-for-controlling-thoughts/
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How to Control Your Thoughts: A Practical Stoic and Christian Practice Plan – Growing Semi-Stoic
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